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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
surrealtea
trashrabbits

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

pikatru

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kyliesparks27

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

imericschneider

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

fizzylimon

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

liamdryden

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proletarianprincess

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

lardybarbie

“47 month old”

autisticnarset

this is my four year old rayman origins

jennytrout

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

rustydanger

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

luckyitems

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

lotionaddict

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

suicunesrider

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

allmenarerapists

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter
Tryge (pronounced Trig)
Loots
Pocket
Aughyst (pronounced August)
Taileigh
Lotiss
Leviathin (yes spelled like that)
Bacchus
Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

the-epitome-of-sophistication

This shit is hilarious

badgyal-k

@kaiiwooo

kaiiwooo

I can’t

onlyblackgirl

47 month old.

trebled-negrita-princess

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

i-sucked-dick-on-accident

image

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

xoverlyxclusivex

47 month old.

crime-she-typed

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

mesaymeep

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

blue-glissando

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

phandomalpaca-lover3729

47 month old

nugret

47 month old

technicolortessi

Damn suburban moms love to put unnecessary “Y’s” in names.

anthony-carmelo

<b>47 month old<b/>

validuskong

47 month old.

fishy

Somebody named their kid Pocket?!?!???

bbc03onthemove

I am cry wheeze laughing at this post, and then when I got to the bottom I had apparently already hearted it at some point in its life?

Anyway, bless little Christopher’s parents. My god.

tsg2k15

47 month old tho

hijabiinhiding

One of the classes I subbed in had a kid named Glarison. I’m sorry, did you misspell Garrison?????

ladyfabulous

OMG IT IS BACK! I CAN FINALLY POST THE ASK I GOT ABPUT THIS!

slytherenne

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amusewithaview

I went to college and took religious studies courses with a girl named Storm Pagan. She never understood why I found that both funny and oddly appropriate, and I never felt like taking the time to explain.

aniseandspearmint

for the love of your future children, look up what a name means in all languages before you saddle you kid with it until they’re old enough to legally change it.

I took latin in middle school. I don’t actually remember much now, but i’m telling you, it was IMPOSSIBLE to look this girl I knew in passing in the eye because her name was Latrina. 

Latrina.

(For those of you who have no idea why this is unfortunate and hilarious, ‘latrina’ is one of the latin words for toilet)

lightningparadox

What the fuck that even sounds like ‘Latrine’ like who looked at that name and went ‘what could possibly go wrong’

natural--blues

Kids I actually went to school with:

Nipponia (Her parents were really enthusiastic about Japan and thought no one would know.)
Foreverina 
Twins – Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh
Khayrliy (Carly)
MyckEnziey (yes, spelled like that.)

Every last one of them was white n blonde.

b-morevony

Naming your kids after gods seems like s BAD PLAN whether you believe in them or not. Especially Odin and Bacchus.

moperson

4 7 M O N T H O L D

absurdist-enigma

I knew I pair of sisters named Chardonnae and Breane (nicknamed Brie). Fucking wine and cheese

aquarius-heauxx

Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh ……. I???……what the fuck 😂😂😂

hey-its-scar

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books-and-cookies

47 month old

gay-zelda

Congrats to you for getting throught this post

huffylemon

Now I’m so fucking glad I’m named megan

grindrxtra

As someone who went to a very white high school I’d like to submit the following:

Lightning

Soul

MacClaine

Envy

Maverick

Phoenix

Gregg (yes, two g’s)

Willow

Marius

Ellary

Calliendo (cal-ee-EN-doh)

Luc (Luke)

Fern-Mary

Luella

Maddox

Jaron

Crayton

Mazie

Evie (eevee)

Chapee (sha-pay)

Tynan

Glynis

Falynne (fal-lin)

Schuyler (sky-ler)

Saraid

Arowyn

Mikhale (mik-kale)

Alastair

Elin (ee-lin)

McKenna

Tallie (tally)

Marit

Kenan (kee-nan)

Micah

sanpellegrinopussy

I knew someone from my white ass town named Jaeiyson (literally just fucking Jason)

im-a-smol-cherub

They just really like throwing in some y’s and i’s huh

Source: bunney 47 months
jinkies-rat
hollyblueagate

can you imagine if jurassic world really leaned into the fact that they’re splicing all sorts of animals together to make fake dinosaurs and all the designs weren’t just Large Angry Reptile

hollyblueagate

my ideal jurassic park is one where all the dinosaurs in the public park are beautiful and docile, but they’re secretly keeping hundreds of unethical ‘failure dinosaurs’ in testing somewhere, all of which are too violent or ugly to show. They’ve got pterosaurs with bioluminescent mouths and brontosaurs with horse legs and hundreds of other weird or grotesque and generally badly bred animals. The worst is a little collection of little potbellied hairless raptors with human hands and teeth because they tried to make some really smart, highly trainable dinosaurs, but in the end all they’ve made is ones that can hold a grudge.

hollyblueagate

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number 18 has escaped the facility…

hollyblueagate

#I want to see those other ones

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Others in the batch were normal, just the one hatched odd. Wings don’t work, no eyes, no vocal cords. Fur’s all dark and greasy and you can’t even see the thing till it yawns or chews at itself. No, I don’t think it’d make a very good exhibit. 

Source: hollyblueagate
pink-hydrangea
charlotebronte

every fall teenage girls are like.. “oh , im gonna enter a place of business and order a product which is offered by that place of business because i like the flavor of it” and honestly? how dare they. that’s so annoying. why can’t they buy the beverage that i, a smart man, would prefer to drink

fromrushhourwithlove

Probably because they’re generally indifferent to the flavor of it and rather use it for in group/out group signalling like the giant basic bitch wall-decorations-from-target early childhood education/nutrition hive mind they are.

charlotebronte

dude shut the fuck up lol

thatwriterchickyouknow

ok i spend all day with teenagers and am paid to educate them and let me tell you most of my girls may love leggings (comfy) and iced coffees (yummy) but i have never, NEVER, seen thirty of them spend a solid month all playing the same boring goddamn video game or had to pry them off their tablets and phones the day some ugly-ass overpriced sneaker drops

try and get a group of teenage boys to all stop making the same fucking meme reference all. goddamn. day. then, and ONLY then, can you talk to me about hive mind

cloama

Can you imagine being a middle or high school teacher when Pickle Rick dropped.

thedisasterlesbian
sespursongles

I periodically feel so fucking sad for women in history. I feel like birth control in countries where it is widely used has made women forget an aspect of male cruelty and sociopathy that is now less apparent (giving the illusion that men have improved when only women’s defences against men have)—the fact that for most of history men could live with a woman for decades and not care that they were slowly killing her with endless back-to-back pregnancies which not only resulted in early death more often than not, but also in a total smothering of the woman’s spirit and talents. I saw a quote by Anne Boyer the other day that called straight relationships for women “not only deadly, but deadening”—as I was reading Jill Lepore’s Book of Ages, a biography of Benjamin Franklin’s sister Jane, who was bright and loved reading and wrote some poetry, but had little time to make anything of her life in between her 12 pregnancies. Benjamin Franklin’s mother had 10 sons and 7 daughters. What could they possibly accomplish when their husbands kept impregnating them year after year after year throughout their entire adult life? 

Charlotte Brontë eschewed marriage longer than most (writing to Ellen Nussey that she wished they could just set up a little cottage and live together) but she finally married at 38, became pregnant, and died before her 39th birthday. If she had married younger would Jane Eyre exist? I was reading that biography of Charity & Sylvia last month and comparing their life together in their little cottage to the life of their married female relatives, which was honestly hell on earth. One of Charity’s sisters had 18 children. Charity’s mother had 10 living ones, and probably some additional stillbirths. She gave birth to her first child age 19, in 1758, then to a pair of twins in 1760, then another child in 1761, another in 1763, another in 1765, another in 1767, another in 1769, another in 1771, another in 1774, another in 1777. Charity was the last child and her mother had been sick with tuberculosis for months when she became pregnant with her, and she died soon after giving birth.

I wish people would call this murder—this woman was murdered by her husband, like countless other women who do not ‘count’ as victims of male violence because straight sex is natural, pregnancy is natural, childbirth is natural. But when after 20 years of nonstop pregnancies this woman had tuberculosis and suffered from severe respiratory distress, severe weight loss, fever and exhaustion, and her husband impregnated her again, her death was expected. He must have known; he just didn’t care. This woman’s sister—Charity’s aunt—remained a spinster and outlived all of her married sisters by several decades, living well into her eighties. (Ironically, male doctors in her century asserted that sex with men was necessary for women’s health. The biographer quoted from a popular home health guide which said that old maids incurred grievous physical harm from a lack of sex with men.) And this aunt had the time and liberty to develop her skill for embroidery to such an extent that two museums still preserve her embroidered bed drapes. She accomplished something, she nurtured her talent and self. Her name was also Charity, and I find it interesting that Charity’s mother named her last daughter, whose pregnancy & birth killed her, after her childless, unmarried sister.

When I see women reblog my post about Sophia Tolstoy’s misery with her 13 children, adding comments like “thank god marriage is no longer synonymous with this”, I wonder if they realise that men have not magically become any kinder or more concerned about their female partner’s health and fulfillment, it’s just that women now have access to better ways of protecting themselves from their male partner’s indifference to their health and fulfillment.

silentwalrus1

#i dont feel sad i feel fucking angry  from @shamwowxl 

Source: sespursongles my mother was a victim of this she was told repeatedly to stop having kids because of her health but my dad didnt believe in birthcontrol fuck men
dannydevites
pizzaback

sewing is one of those skills everyone with the ability should know IMO. i’ve known too many people who just throw out perfectly servicable clothing and bedding because of tears or buttons that have fallen off and these can be fixed at home. sewing’s not hard either. 

pizzaback

sewing, like baking bread, is one of those basic skills that corporations have convinced people is just impossible or too expensive for the average person to do in order to manipulate people into buying things.

pizzaback

i’m not saying sewing is possible for everyone, but if you have motor skills fine enough to, say, replace lead in a mechanical pencil, you can learn to sew, and you can help people who can’t sew. here’s a good guide with gifs.

frodobell

this is what we mean when we say civilization de-skills us to make us dependent

regularlesbian

buddy i know for a fact people have retained these skills for most of recorded history, all of which has taken place in societies which could be called civilizations. and if you think that capitalism is the most civilized epoch of human history then you have been bamboozled big time

Source: pizzaback
unresolvedmatters
jamesvflint

anyway animal rights activism will be inherently disingenuous and indeed actively harmful unless y’all recognize that 1) not every country has industrialized the consumption of meat to the extent that the west has 2) you absolutely need to prioritize human beings over animals given that basic humanity isn’t even afforded to a large fucking portion of the human population 3) your experiences are not universal and humans have been living off the land sustainably for literal millenia 4) capitalism is your enemy not poor people & people of color 5) stop fucking making slavery/holocaust anaologies. those are actual human beings. thanks

Source: jamesvflint